You're Not a Pinup But You're F*cking Fabulous: Some Swimsuit Recommendations For All Body Types

I feel the need to preface this piece with a disclaimer: Despite what I suggest here, I feel that women should wear whatever the hell they want, when they want, regardless of what anyone says! If you're going to live by one rule and one rule only, adhere to this one: Make sure you're wearing clothing that fits.  I really can't stress this enough. 

Now, with that out of the way, let's stray from all the spring trend talk and (thanks to the fact that they're calling for snow on Friday and that makes me want to beat my head against a wall) move on to thoughts of summer... and swimsuits! 

I have a vintage clothing collection and I love tasteful, retro fashions but I must admit that the last eight or nine years of supposed "pinup" and "burlesque" fashion has often set my teeth on edge. A lot of the class that once embodied the original burlesque performers and pinups has evaporated and, while I understand that everything eventually evolves and this might be the evolution of that, it's really not for me. Let's take cherry prints, for example. When I was a child and a teenager, I loved them. Now, when I see someone in a cherry print dress, I feel like they're trying too hard. Maybe years of exposure to rockabilly culture and watching some women try to out-kitsch each other have also brought me to this point but there you have it. That said, I know I'm going to end up recommending retro bathing suit styles for curvier women because that's just what tends to work. Rest assured that I'll keep it classy.

I'll kick things off with Blame Betty, a fantastic shop based Calgary, Alberta. While a lot of their stock is available elsewhere, I'm going to link to them because they're Canadian. Here we have the   Two-Piece Classic Sheath Bikini for $95.00 CAD, the Bettie One-Piece Pinup Swimsuit (there's that word again!) for $92.00 CAD and the Rita One-Piece Swimsuit for $125.00 CAD. The really great thing that these three bathing suits have in common is that they work on any body type but look especially banging on someone with curves.

Back to Mod Cloth we go. I find that this shop is very hit-or-miss but, given the amount of stock they have, you can always find something great! My top picks for swimsuits for this summer from Mod Cloth are the Parallel Shorelines One Piece for $158.99 USD, the High Tide Style One Piece for $49.99 USD and the Splice of Life One Piece in black (it also comes in red) for $89.99 USD. I've also thrown in the Do It All Together Cover Up ($59.99 USD) because I love it's early 60's appeal.

1. The first swimsuit would probably look best on a boyish figure. The side openings will look warped otherwise and there is the potential for them creating whole new rolls (who needs that?!) if you are spilling out of them, so to speak. 2. I like the High Tide Style piece because, even though the lighter colours are on the outside, the different panels combined create a silhouette of their own, basically overriding yours. Just make sure coral and white work with your skin tone! 3. The third swimsuit also  comes in red but I chose the black one for the collage because of the colour's slimming abilities and the fact that it works on most people. The belt and the lines of the bodice also create silhouette and can a good inch off your waist. Also, it's gorgeous! Do be careful that the suit fits properly though, as bottom seams can push into your thighs and be very unflattering. In my opinion, the suit should be slightly higher cut. No matter your shape, this cut is quite tricky.

From Sak's Fifth Avenue, for the thin woman with a smaller bust, I recommend the following suits:

The Juicy Couture Port Strip bikini. The top is $87.00 USD and the bottom is $80.00 USD.

The Kushcush One-Piece Rachel Swim Dress (finally, someone who puts a hyphen in "one-piece") for $172 USD.

Marc by Marc Jacobs Vintage Stripe Triangle Bikini Top for $80 USD. The bottom is $85 USD. (Look for the romper in the same print-- adorable!)

MIKOH SWIMWEAR Banyans Multi-String Bikini. Top: $100 USD. 

Three swimsuits from asos.com really stood out for me. 1. The Pour Moi Fiji Halter Suit is $63.18 USD and works for just about any body type. 2. The ASOS Plunge Backless Suit is really stunning! It's going for $58.19 USD and is recommended for slim women with small to medium breasts. 3. The ASOS Caged Bow Back Swimsuit is currently out of stock but was going for $49.88 USD. I included it anyway because it might be restocked and because there are similar suits out there right now, including one from Victoria Secret that does not have the bows (they're not everyone's cup of tea and, in my opinion, add chaos to this suit.

And now to Etsy! 

I love the Miss Sailor Girl Swimsuit by meshalo. It's got a nautical feel to it but it isn't tacky. Bonus? It's currently on sale for $78.99 USD.

 This gorgeous suit will work best on the woman who has kicked serious ass to stay in shape. It works for curves but be very careful about what type of curves you have if you buy this suit. If you have stomach fat, this suit will accentuate it --no-- put it on display like nothing else. $125 USD by Lili Ash.

For the thin woman with little to large breasts or one with a small hourglass figure, as seen in the photo, I like this suit by Tani Thompson. $90.oo USD.

As you may have seen in my last post, I'm a sucker for black lace and so there is no way I couldn't include the beautiful Lace Daze swimsuit by Nina Broze. With a simple front and stunning back, it is well-balanced and pretty, with just the right amount of sexy to it. Unless you have back rolls (in which case I will never recommend a backless suit), this suit works for you. It's $109.00 USD. And I want one. 

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